Everything Falls Into Place… Or Out of It

It’s funny how things happen in life. Whether you believe in God or not, there’s something about events in life that make you question coincidences and fate. At least I can’t imagine not thinking about fate myself.

Just a month ago, I was a full-time working teacher who barely had any time to devote to my family or my faith. It was sad really, how much time I spent devoted to my job and my students. I loved making a difference, but I never realized just how much of me I gave to something that gave nothing back. I didn’t mind being selfless for a while, but recently I’ve come to realize that when you least expect it, your family will need you the most.

I just started substituting again this past week. First, let me just say I am absolutely in love with being able to work in a school setting with kids who are appreciative of my time and talents. Yet the minute the school day is over, I’m able to come home and enjoy my family and my free time. It’s almost like the best of both worlds.

This has also been the opportunity that has allowed me to face my religion again. I’ve actually had time to go to church lately, and I’ve been praying every day as I help students in a Catholic school. I may not be Catholic myself, but our religions are not so different that I can’t say some of the prayers along with the kids. And thank God I have been.

Because last night, well yesterday afternoon, I realized just how much I need God in my life. I will never shove my beliefs down someone else’s throat, but I do not understand how I could make it through some of the things in my life without feeling like there is a higher power leading me in the right direction and helping to challenge me to make me stronger.

Anyway, the big deal yesterday was that my boyfriend got into a motorcycle accident. And we were extremely fortunate. He has a pretty serious collarbone fracture but is totally fine besides that. He was able to actually stand up and walk away from the scene. And even the bike has fared pretty well, considering the worst damage is some mis-aligned tires and handlebars.

I wasn’t there at the time; I was on my way home from work where I had just gotten done listening to a Congolese refugee speak about the child soldiers and human rights in Africa. I was in such a good mood because the weather was so nice. And, because of that presenter, I was feeling extremely grateful and thankful for the way my life has gone thus far, for all the gifts and privileges I have had, for the ability to be so close to my amazing family. I never thought that I would be taking T to the emergency room just minutes later.

I guess the reason I am writing this is because I need to write about something today. I feel that itch in my bones that makes me realize I need to get some things down on paper or otherwise. But mostly, I don’t know how else to express my thankfulness for the people who helped him after he had crashed. I don’t know who any of the people are (besides family of course), but I do know that he was on a back road by himself and could have been much more seriously injured. The fact that multiple people stopped to help him means that there are still many, many good people in this world. And in light of how our government is acting and how people have been fighting recently, I am just so eternally grateful to anyone who chose to be a good citizen yesterday on that windy back road.

The next few weeks might not be easy for us here, but he is going to heal just fine and we will move on with our lives, this accident left as only a faint and awful memory. But thank you again to anyone who may have already forgotten it happened. Thanks to some of you, my man is okay, the bike made it home, and we are left with only a broken collarbone to deal with. Thanks also to the manufacturers of his armored jacket and his helmet. Even the ER nurse was astounded at how well he was able to move around yesterday. I know not many cyclists are quite that lucky after flipping their bikes.

I honestly will be eternally grateful to all of those who helped. From God to the nurse and the doctor to anyone we may meet over the next week as his arm gets set correctly for healing. If I ever lose him, I just don’t know what I would do. So yesterday and in upcoming days, any of you who have made an impact… I just hope you realize how you didn’t just help save his life yesterday; you helped save mine too. Thank you.

 

~B

What You Never Realize (Until it’s too late)

Still have not been doing a very good job of keeping up with my blog. I have successfully begun to journal again, but I’m finding it more relaxing to use paper most of the time.

Without getting into the details of the past month or so, I just felt it important to write a quick note about how things can change for the worst very quickly. And, unfortunately, in most of those situations, no one really understands what you go through in that awful time in your life.

This time in my life just happened to revolve around my teaching career, so I hope my teacher friends out there will take the time to read this. It’s something I wrote up a few minutes ago that I feel needs to be shared with each of you. Here goes!

Here’s the harsh reality of being a teacher: there’s no way you will ever get the respect and acknowledgement you deserve from the world. Namely because no one can ever step into your shoes. To all those out there with a teaching career, I’m sorry that I will never be able to put myself into your shoes. I too am a highly misunderstood teacher, and here’s why.

Being a true teacher (the kind you read about in Anne of Green Gables or other classic stories) impacts every aspect of your life. And every part of your life so far has impacted your career whether you realize it or not. You may realize that you are becoming the teacher your parents always were to you. It’s probable that you are now the teacher who advocates for students who very closely resemble the child you once were. Plus, if you’re a really good teacher, you become part of hundreds of families outside of your own.

As with every family, it can be hard to be heard in an educational group. You may put your heart in all the right places, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be acknowledged for your work. Think about the position of mom in a household. She continues to slave away at chores, teaching the kids manners and respect, and may even help with the income. Every teacher has suddenly volunteered to be the mom; the one who puts in the effort and works tirelessly for an outcome. The thing is, most moms are never thanked enough for all of the time and effort they put in. You, the teacher, will probably suffer the same sad  fate.

I also feel like teaching is especially hard on those who are very emotional. Seeing a kid in need is like watching one of those horrifying ASPCA commercials to anyone who is emotional. Trust me, I know. You’re sitting there knowing someone needs help but trying hard not to give away every penny of your money to the cause. The same goes for your students. The difference is that a teacher doesn’t necessarily need to give in the form of money. Every kid needs something a little different, and most often their needs require zero money at all. So we give and we give. Before I knew it, I had given so much of myself to one cause or another that I could not find myself in all the stress. And as outside circumstances add to your responsibility, you may find yourself in a similar situation.

For those teachers out there who become overwhelmed by the vast responsibilities, the politics, the emotions, and the stresses please know that you (we) are not alone. I’ve been there, I’ve done that. While I may never understand your position exactly because I was not raised or taught the same way you were, know that I too have experienced the best and the worst times that a teacher may ever know. You are not alone.

~B