Monthly Archives: March 2015

The Simplest Ways to Make the Best of Emotions

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Anyone who has read any of my posts before knows at least one of two things: 1- I teach and 2- I am very emotional. So I decided that, when I could come up with no better topic to discuss today, using a content generator was the best idea! The one I came across (Content Ideas Generator by Portent) requires that you type in a keyword or phrase so that it can randomize a blog post title for you. So, why not emotion? Hence today’s post.


So what are the simplest ways to make the best of emotions? Most of us don’t know how to deal with our emotions or the emotions of others. Where we succeed in our careers, in socialization, or in sports and hobbies, many of us do not excel in reading or understanding emotions. So here are some of the simplest ways I have found to make the most of emotions.

  • Don’t be scared to be honest. The worst, biggest emotional messes are those that involve lies of one sort or another. Just ignore these altogether.
  • Learn to write. You don’t need to share your writing; heck, you don’t even have to be good at writing. Just be able to write so that you can keep a journal or share your thoughts. While I’m sure this tactic does not work for everyone, I find that it is very easy for myself (and for some others I know) to sort out our thoughts through the written word. If this doesn’t work for you, try being social about your emotions to someone that you know you can trust. Whatever you do, especially when you’re angry or sad, release that feeling in some healthy form of communication to yourself or someone else. 
  • Connect with someone else. We all have these unique emotions and perspectives on things that occur in our lives. Spend some time searching for a friend or family member who has similar beliefs and emotional reactions to your’s. Then, regardless of the situation, you know that you can randomly state any crazy or unique emotion that you are feeling without being judged or treated differently because of your thoughts.
  • Read books and complete activities that channel your emotions. Are you extremely creative? Try some form of art as a new hobby! Are you considered old-fashioned in your beliefs? Read old westerns or historical documentaries, biographies, or novels! Are you easily enraged? Channel your anger through some form of hard cardio workout; learn to run, bike, mountain climb, or do some form of activity where your adrenaline is racing and you work off some energy at the same time! Regardless of the emotions, you can always find at least one way to channel them in a positive direction.
  • Never apologize or try to hide negativity. It’s human nature to be negativity. I am negative a lot! And unfortunately, I don’t always follow this rule; sometimes I am negative and feel the need to apologize for it afterward. But being true to yourself and honest to others (see above) also includes having the pretty and ugly parts of your emotions available on your sleeve. Be sure to show them so that you don’t surprise or offend people down the road as you work to build relationships with them.
  • Determine the type of emotional person that you are. You may be one of the following. Distinguishing which category or categories you fall under will help you to be in tune with your emotional side while also staying in control of those wandering emotions that you get when stressed or tired. 
    1. The sleeved one- This is the person who wears their emotion on their sleeve. They lose more friends than not because they are unafraid to share their emotions. Additionally, they may have a difficult time controlling their emotions. There is always a good time to share emotions and a certain approach to take when discussing your personal self; the sleeved ones do not always understand when/what these times and approaches are.
    2. The rock- Rocks, as we know, have zero emotion. These people, for whatever reason, feel no emotion whatsoever. No, these are not the people who hide their emotions well; these people truly feel no pain or hurt when it comes to the emotional side of themselves. If you are a rock, you probably think this entire post is stupid…
    3. The chameleon- You are the confusing one, the one who always likes to have control of your emotions and deal with them in your own way. Most chameleons choose to camouflage themselves into their surroundings, hiding their emotions from others and are unwilling to agree or disagree with any one particular opinion or action. At the same time, these people do have emotions, some of them very strong. By not sharing opinions and beliefs, these people feel that they are protecting themselves from the rest of the world. These people may have been easily hurt or emotionally bullied in their past. 
    4. The seesaw- If you are a seesaw, you are similar to a chameleon; indecisive and easily influence by others. The difference between you and a chameleon is that you are not trying to hide your emotions. You enjoy giving opinions, sharing your beliefs, and feeling things. The only problem is that you are not often in control of your feelings. When one minute you are happy and carefree, the next minute you are sad or angry. As your seesaw tips back and forth, you find that your emotions feel more like baggage that you must carry across an unending roller coaster ride. 
    5. The wall- If you are the wall, you are a mix between a rock and a chameleon. You are so confusing that no one really knows what your emotional state is. Maybe there are times when you do not even know (making you even more closely related to a seesaw). Regardless, you put up a strong front. There are times when you are not in control of your emotions and times when you feel that it is okay to come out of your natural form and show your true feelings. But, in the majority of your life, you find that keeping a distance from your emotions is the only way to live. Many people who are walls are this way because they are in some form of superior position. While they are not actually superior human beings, they may be the heads of companies or the head of a household. Often times father figures are well suited as candidates for this category. If they show their emotions, they feel that they are placing more burden on the people who they love and feel that they are supposed to protect. 
  • Make it a game! Get some of your closest friends and family together and play a game to learn more about their emotions. There are board games and other contests out there which will challenge others to share their emotions and be more open with others. Some will try to ignite anger, angst, stress, or sadness in you as you play. Try starting with one of these games if you don’t know the other person well and are simply trying to learn about them. But if you all want to learn more about each other’s emotional sides so that you can be a better support system to one another, try sitting down together and following these simple steps:
    1. Make sure every person has a small notebook or blank sheet of paper. Everyone must also have a pencil/pen to write with.
    2. Using a timer, give the entire group 5-10 minutes to formulate questions that spark a discussion about emotion, are controversial, or require a person to place themselves into a theoretical situation to make a decision involving emotions. 
    3. Once the lists are done, have everyone cut their questions apart and fold them in half. All of the individual questions should then be placed in a box, hat, etc. 
    4. One at a time, players should take turns pulling questions out of a hat and asking them verbally to the group. In round robin fashion (or in some other pre-designated way), the group should take turns answering the given question as truthfully and in as much detail as possible. (One way to start this off to make it fair is for the person choosing the question to answer first.)
    5. Play can continue for as long as the group wishes. If you don’t finish all of the questions in one sitting? Save them and ask some more later! 

I think that’s about all I have for now. If you aren’t comfortable discussing emotions or acknowledging your own, just spend some time exploring them through every day acts that you already complete. Monitor how it makes you feel to complete different activities or talk to certain people.

You will find that the more you understand about yourself and your emotions, the happier you can be. This, in the end, is the best way to use your emotions for positive results.

~Me

This Time I’m Getting It Right

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That’s right everyone; I’m getting something right! Or at least it seems that way….

After a very long but amazing day, I’m sitting here at 11pm frantically typing this post because I cannot get this one thought out of my mind, the thought that I am doing this whole relationship thing right. Maybe everyone must care about someone once and have it not turn out before they realize what the truly important aspects of a relationship are. I’ve lost friends, I’ve lost family, and I lost my ex… so maybe now I realize what I am doing and how to make it better.

The thing is this. Today I went to a gun and ammo show. I’ve never been to one before, never had any reason to go. In my mind, for my entire life, guns seem like an unnecessary possession. I don’t live on a farm, I don’t believe in hunting for the sport, and I have no interest in learning about guns and how they work or who can shoot with the best aim. None of my friends are really into weapons of any kind, and I guess since I’m a girl, I’m all too happy to just be naive about the entire gun industry.

But I went today because I knew it would be special for T. I wanted to do something for him that would show that I truly cared about him and that I am open to learning new things and trying new things, within some realm of limits of course. 

Last night I was nervous about the entire thing. I wasn’t sure I would feel comfortable walking through aisle after aisle of guns and knives just to look and enjoy myself. But I was the one who mentioned it in the first place, as a sweet gesture to him, and I was not going to be the one to cancel last minute. And you know what? It wasn’t the greatest thing I’ve ever done, but it definitely wasn’t awful! I learned a lot about T and about my own abilities to remain calm and enjoy myself in even strange situations. 

Besides, this whole day has me thinking; now that I’m getting into this relationship world again, I am starting to realize that there are things that I am doing so much different than the first time. And I think, regardless of what happens in the meantime, I am happy to be recognizing that I have the ability to learn and grow from my past hurts and pains. Here are some of the things I have realized thus far:

  1. A relationship isn’t about having every little thing in common. It’s not about trying to change yourself to please someone else and it’s not about someone else changing to please you. Change shouldn’t be expected, it should only come naturally (if it does come at all). Exploring another person’s interest is one of the greatest ways to learn about that person and to expand your own horizons. It’s okay to try new things every now and then.
  2. A relationship isn’t about talking to the other person every second of every day. It’s not some horrible thing meant to keep you from your family or your other friends. It’s important to not lose sight of your career and your responsibilities either. If you are in a truly good relationship, the other person will make sure your responsibilities are taken care of and they will make sure that you both have time apart to spend alone or with other people whom you would seriously miss otherwise.
  3. A relationship isn’t about an image. I don’t find myself sitting here trying to impress my parents or my friends with every little detail of my relationship now. I don’t push to have some title identified for this relationship, and to tell you the truth, I don’t need one. The only thing I need to know is that I feel happy and he feels the same. All the other people will either like it or not, but I don’t need to seek their approval around every corner.
  4. A relationship isn’t about give and take. It’s supposed to be about give and give some more. Doing sweet, spontaneous things for the person you care about is one of the best feelings a person can experience. This reminds me of Christmas: I have found it is better to give gifts than to get gifts. It makes me happier to see others happy than it does to feel my own happiness.
  5. A relationship is about being open and honest. You may not agree with every little thing that is said and done by the other person, but you need to be able to talk it out rationally. You should spend time learning how to read their attitude and demeanor to tell when they need a friend or when they need you to not push any one specific subject. I admit, I’m still working on this one a LOT, but I am learning that I am who I am and that’s just the way it’s going to be. He either cares about me or he doesn’t, but neither way it works out is anything my “fault”. 
  6. A relationship isn’t about escaping reality. A relationship is about growing and learning. You don’t need to be comfortable every second that you spend with the other person. You don’t need to perfect everything about your relationship; sometimes the flaws remind you that there is true feeling involved. Something so perfect and fluffy ends up just being fake.
  7. A relationship isn’t about sexual intimacy, or even intimacy at all. Try this once: Hold a random conversation with your significant other. Note what you talk about and how you two converse with one another. Hopefully you will find that you talk to each other similar to the way that you would talk to a friend. If not, run! Additionally, spend some time not talking at all. Can you comfortably sit in silence and watch a show or movie, read a book, or take a nap with the other person? Do you feel anxious when you realize that you’ve “wasted” your day doing these simple acts? A true relationship involves the simpler things in life. You don’t always need to soak up every minute of your time together with activities and movement or speech. It’s okay to be together and be silent all at the same time.
  8. A relationship isn’t about forcing the other person to grow. Sure, this normally comes about after some time, but if you’ve got to convince the other person to try something new, it’s probably not a good idea. Yes, it’s okay to ask them to do something new, but if you nag at them until they concede, you’re not actually winning the battle. All you’ve done is lost a piece of their trust. 
  9. A relationship involves the words “are you okay” and “thank you” a lot more than you realize. Sure, it might seem paranoid to constantly ask someone if they are okay as they cough, cry, etc. But at the end of the day, it means the world to them that you just asked! And it’s NEVER a bad thing to say thank you. For lunch, for a movie ticket, for a day spent together in pjs at the house. Be grateful for every minute you have because you truly never know when it will be gone.
  10. A relationship isn’t about finances. It doesn’t matter who makes more money or who has the fanciest car; you take turns driving, you take turns paying, and you take turns sharing the financial burdens of having a social life. You should never ask the other person to borrow money, and you should never feel pressured to lend the other person money either. Real relationships (at least until you’re married or pretty close to married) do not rely on financial factors.
  11. A real relationship isn’t about distance or time spent apart. It’s not your fault if you have to work or if you aren’t feeling well. It’s okay to not see each other every day or every other day. It’s important to see each other as often as is necessary to maintain a relationship, but it’s not your fault if plans fall through or you are honestly too tired from other responsibilities to be there with the other person at any one particular time. 
  12. A real relationship isn’t about the end game. I like T, I really do. I love the kind of person he is. Am I in love with him? No. Not yet. Maybe not ever, though we are heading in that direction. And here’s the thing; this is how it’s supposed to be. If you find yourself making promises for the future and using the words I love you too soon, you’re going to be in a failed relationship. Maybe this doesn’t always hold true, but from my experience it does. Someone who promises you the world way too soon isn’t at all prepared to offer you the entire world when that time comes around. It’s also important to note: It’s not bad to not be in love with your significant other. I mean, if you’ve been together for years, this is a different story. But if you’ve been seeing each other for a handful of months, love isn’t a necessity. Love grows and is built over time with comfort and repetitive support. Don’t push that four letter word. When you feel it say it. But don’t be afraid to not feel it, especially at first. 

That’s it for now. I should have been in bed long ago. Maybe I’ll add more later? 

~Me

3 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Single – Written by Lysa TerKeurst

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This is so true! While I’m not technically single but not technically in a relationship either, I have seen both sides of the fence at one point or another. I should write a post like this one day, but for now, this is amazing (and true)!

set your paths straight

Reblogged from Proverbs 31 Ministries – written by Lysa TerKeurst

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.” Matthew 6:34a (MSG)

I remember the hardest day of the week for me when I was single was Sunday. Specifically, Sunday right after church.

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The 50 Me-List Questions

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A weird title for this post, I know… But I came across this blog post on another wordpress site (Thanks ercarletti.wordpress.com). It included 50 questions that you should ask yourself or others to learn more about people. I figured I would give it a try, though I admit that I have not read all of these questions yet and do not know whether I will feel like the information they are asking is too personal for me to answer here or not. I guess we’ll find out!

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?

I have had quite a few nicknames over the years, none of which I will list here so that I can keep my anonymity. But I will say that I prefer it when people call me by a unique nickname or my real name. It’s no fun if people cannot spell my real name, so that’s a huge pet peeve of mine, but at the same time I don’t want people running around calling me by some nickname that they also call every other person they know! (I don’t know that this counts as an answer, but okay…)

2. What books on your shelf are begging to be read?

All of them! Even the ones that I have already read! I am a book addict if you did not already know, and I love reading books almost every night before bed. When I don’t, I go back to a book later and realize how much I’ve missed it! (P.S. I am currently looking forward to reading a book for work’s Literature Circle, and I just bought six new books at the store today! My library is quickly running out of room, but my brain wants more!)

3. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like?

I take after my father here; I normally doodle while I’m on the phone or thinking hard about something. My doodles are normally random lines and shapes put together to make some nonsense pattern. I CANNOT draw for anything, so I won’t leave you a picture or anything…

4. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive?

If I can’t sleep at night, I normally read, watch TV, or do work. I know, that last one especially sounds weird, but sometimes it works. Normally when I cannot sleep I’m not tired enough or I have too much on my mind. Nothing distracts me like needing to focus on some serious work!

5. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it?

Probably none. When I’m alone, I often over think. When I over think, I have anxiety attacks. When I have anxiety attacks, it’s never good to be alone. I mean, I guess I could live, but it wouldn’t be pretty… for anyone involved. 

6. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away?

I save them, particularly the old letters. I love it when someone takes that extra time to send me a hand-written letter. Nothing puts a smile on my face better than a sweet gesture like that! And I’m a little old fashioned…

7. Who is the biggest pack rat you know?

Haha. My grandpa was. Now? Hm… not sure? I don’t pay much attention to how much people “stow away” in their homes. I will say that my dad and his siblings take after their dad in a lot of ways; I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them was secretly a pack rat… or maybe more than one!

8. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost?

1) What party?

2) Why would you go to a party alone?

3) This is the worst question so far…

9. What is your strongest sense? If you had to give one up, which would it be?

My sixth sense: My emotion. Nothing can beat that baby!

10. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror?

Twice? Maybe three times? I’m definitely not one to stand in front of the mirror and primp and worry about my weight and all that nonsense. There are so many more important things in life!

11. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

Possibly that the tooth fairy was real… at least that’s the best I’m coming up with at this point. I mean, how can someone so small put money under my pillow while my head is on the pillow? Haha!

12. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?

Reality TV shows. Yes, a guilty pleasure. I mean, most people watch them, but you would think that I would be one of the people to realize how overrated and stupid they are. And the thing is, I do! I just find some weird joy in watching other people’s lives turn out similar to mine. Knowing other people mess up sometimes also helps, though that makes me sound like an awful person.

13. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?

My sister… didn’t I write a post about this once?

14. How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections?

Never. None. Nada! (I have a good reason why though!)

15. Which animals scare you most? Why?

Reptiles and insects. I am not sure why; maybe because people put so much emphasis on how weird their scales and crawly legs feel. It seems silly since most of them are barely dangerous and most of them are millions of times smaller than me, but it’s true!

16. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?

RUN RUN! Is this a question intended to create conflict? If so, I plead the fifth!

17. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received and savoured?

I’m pretty sure I was told I was amazing or awesome or something like that. And that I’m a good kisser (but I don’t really believe it!) I’ve been getting a lot of compliments lately, and it makes me feel super special. I’d like to keep them in a journal just so I have them for when things change in life and I need a compliment but am receiving none.

18. What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will?

My level of anxiety and how I cannot always handle it alone, which makes me scared to live alone, etc. 

19. Are you a creature of habit? Explain.

Absolutely, though over the past few years, I have become more used to randomness. But when I know that there is a specific schedule set for any one day, it better stay that way or I’m a mess! Otherwise, some randomness can be fun sometimes. 

20. Are you high maintenance? Explain.

I don’t think so, but not many people understand my high level of emotion. I’m not very needy when it comes to material things, but I do need a lot of emotional support and understanding. 

21. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits?

It has been a while. I like to play it safe with my health…

22. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why?

A whole lot of acquaintances and a few very close friends… why does this question act like you cannot have both at the same time? I know a ton of people, particularly from work, but I can count all of my closest friends on one hand!

23. Are you more inclined to “build your own empire” or unleash the potential of others?

I’m a teacher, what do you think?

24. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone?

I get feelings of dejavu an awful lot! It’s weird! And sometimes the thing that I seem to be “repeating” is something that feels like it has already been repeated more than once. So weird…

25. What do you think about more than anything else?

My feelings and those that I love.

26. What’s something that amazes you?

The random kindness that so few people still have. But when I see it, it’s like I’m watching a miracle come alive. I guess it’s actually sad that this seems so amazing to me, but it is great!

27. Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why?

It depends on the situation and my mood. Sometimes I feel like I need (or want) to be babied, but other times, I just want to know the truth. I guess as long as people aren’t straight out lying to me, it doesn’t really matter all that much.

28. Where’s your favourite place to take an out-of-town guest?

The next town over! There’s not much to do or see in this one. 🙂

29. What’s one thing you’d rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why?

Change the oil in my car or do home makeovers and other technical repairs. Sure, I can do anything that I set my mind to and I do know how to change the oil in my car, but why bother? I am in the process of bettering myself and my mechanic can always use a few extra dollars for some easy work! I don’t mind helping him out if he helps me. 🙂

30. Do you have a catchphrase?

Not that I know of… I do have habits though, little quirks that not many people do…

31. What’s your reaction towards people who are outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them?

I enjoy talking with these people most times, but there is a thin line. I love learning about different cultures, religions, and beliefs, but I do not like it when someone tries to convert me to their way of thinking… that’s when it gets bad!

32. How and where do you prefer to study?

Everywhere and anywhere, though a quiet place is pretty darn good!

33. What position do you sleep in?

I toss and turn and roll all over… or so I’ve been told!

34. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why?

I have a few, but there are many more places that I have not yet been!

35. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new?

Honestly, I’m not really sure. Physical appearance isn’t the first for sure. Probably humor, sincerity, and compassion? Idk…

36. How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you?

I am not sure that it has. I am the big sister, but most times I feel like she’s more mature and responsible than I am in many things in life…

37. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be?

See above?

38. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be?

I wouldn’t. 

Wow… I cannot believe I just said that. I have wished for so many years that I could have people back in my life. So many people have left for such stupid reasons that it seems silly I cannot have them back. But I think I’ve found a place of peace… a place where I do not want to go back. I’m content here and I am coming to realize that I have not gotten here without going through all of the hurt and crap and obstacles that I have gotten through before.

39. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

That’s a hard question! Something unique like mine is now but not so frustrating for when other people have to spell it… no one gets it right! P.S. I love my name!!!

40. Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not?

No; ignorance is never bliss. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, but when it comes to your original action, it’s better to have all of the facts and just know how to control your actions. If you don’t let things ruin you, they won’t.

41. What do you consider unforgivable?

Many things, though I’m not sure I can pinpoint them! It depends on my perspective of the situation, whether I am directly involved, and how much emotional stress I am currently under. I will try to forgive anyone, but it’s not always possible. One thing I know for sure: cheating is NEVER okay. EVER.

42. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not?

Not all of them, but I’m working on it. I hold myself to very high standards, not because I think people without standards are less worthy or any nonsense like that, but because I want to be as successful as I can be. I find reaching for perfectionism is not the happiest thing anyone can do, but it has gotten me pretty far in my life thus far. I think that outlook on life makes it harder for me to forgive myself for things. But it will be okay sooner or later. I’ve improved in this a lot.

43. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

Very difficult. Extremely! I want to, but I just cannot. Even if some people do apologize, I cannot forgive. Or maybe I just don’t forget…

44.Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for?

I would never intentionally hurt someone unless it was in self defense. And before you freak out or take this the wrong way, I’m not just talking physically. More people are abused emotionally than anything else, and those are the kinds of hurt that truly concern me. Would I be willing to die for that belief… well, I’m not honestly sure. Who can know what they would gladly die for until placed in a situation that makes them decide in a split second?

45. To what extent do you trust people? Explain.

Not very much. I am a very open person (or this blog wouldn’t exist), but I have some reservations about people because of my past. It’s funny; barely anyone I know personally even knows this site exists. My coworkers don’t really know anything about me. But my friends and family? I’d tell them everything. I guess it’s just figuring out whether they are my friends or not that is the hardest part.

46. In what area of your life are you immature?

Chores, errands… whatever you want to call them. If I had enough money to pay someone to cook and clean and do those silly tasks at the end of my long day, I’d absolutely do it. Though I know I wouldn’t learn anything from that, it truly does drive me crazy to “waste” my time doing those types of tasks. I’m not even sure why…

47. What was the best news you ever received?

My dad was still alive (long story).

48. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular?

Not very! If I ever lie, it’s normally due to my extreme sarcasm and is not even meant as a lie when it leaves my lips. I truly do not try to lie EVER, though I will be quiet when there is something on my mind that I know I should say but really don’t want to share.

49. When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long term result? Conversely, are you close with anyone now that you really disliked at first?

Question 1: About a month ago

Question 2: I’m still figuring that out (Question 3 has this same answer…)

Question 4: No.

50. When do you find yourself singing?

When am I alone? Haha.

That was pretty fun; I suggest you share with your friends and answer them together. You might learn something awesome. 😉

~Me

The Simplistic One

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I have been having a pretty good weekend after a very long and tiring week. Along with the nice weekend, I am looking forward to Spring Break (no work!) this week. This is also the last week of my college career, or so I am hoping! Instead of writing about my woes and all the negative things that I need guidance with, I am going to do things a bit differently.  Instead, I think it is important that everyone remember the simple things in life. The random things. As I make my next list (below), I hope I can remember that life can be simple, random, and hilarious all at the same time. Sometimes it isn’t the big things in life that make or break a person; sometimes it’s the tiny, little things that really change the way we look at life. So here goes. Possibly my best list ever. The simple, random bucket list that can be done with little travel and not nearly as much money as other people’s lists require. Feel free to steal any of these ideas for yourself, your family, or your friends!

  1. Go Karts
  2. Arcade
  3. Shooting Range
  4. Indoor Trampoline Park
  5. Room Escape (Live, not on the Internet)
  6. Take a trip to the Inner Harbor (Baltimore, MD)
  7. Day (or night) trip to NYC
  8. Niagara Falls
  9. Pennsylvania Grand Canyon
  10. Tour the Smithsonian buildings in DC
  11. Orioles baseball game
  12. Green Dragon/Lancaster area day trip
  13. Trip to the beach
  14. Weekend camping (yes, in an actual tent)
  15. Play baseball/Batting cages
  16. Geo-caching
  17. Ride 4-wheelers
  18. Visit the swimming pool
  19. Take a hike (Cunningham Falls)
  20. Take a trip to the Cryptologic Museum near Fort Meade
  21. Go to a casino (Charlestown— for a horse race!)
  22. Drive-In Movies
  23. Fishing
  24. Take a cruise (This is a maybe?)
  25. Ride on a train (Reading, PA)
  26. Tour Philadelphia museums

Cabin Fever?

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Cabin Fever?

Today, my first day back to work for what appears to be a full week, was a disaster! Anything that appeared to be able to go wrong basically went wrong in some way. (Okay, for those of you who don’t know me personally, I admit to some exaggeration. But for those of you who know about my day, you will realize that some of the things that occurred hit me really hard and… hence the exaggeration.)

One thing that bugs me the most is that coworkers still treat me as though I am a child, one of their students. I got it at first; this is my first year teaching and I still have a LOT to learn. But now that we’re almost done with this year, I think I have proven myself in enough ways to ensure that I am clearly defined as a teacher, not a student. And yet today, it happened again. 

That might seem silly, but today was also the first day when a student told me, to my face, that I am an awful teacher. Sure, it was because they weren’t getting exactly what they wanted, but it still hurt to hear the words. I teach for a reason. I teach because I want to make a difference in children’s lives. I don’t do this job for the money or the pride; I do it because I care about them. So to hear this kid, even if it was just one kid, say that I ruined something for them and that I am the worst teacher they ever have… well, it’s a slap in the face! It was some weird, dramatic wake-up call that seems to be playing out in front of my eyes via a slow-motion camera. I cannot stop replaying the entire scene over and over again, not because I want to but because I cannot grasp the concept that I wasn’t dreaming. Someone actually told me that I am a horrible person. Maybe out of spite, but they thought it and said it anyway. 

This was not all that was wrong with my day, but it was the biggest slap in the face that I have received in a long time. I guess I had perfected myself this little bubble of peace, where coworkers liked me, my students appreciated my time and effort, my family loved me, and I was motivated to finish college. Now that bubble is popped and I feel lost.

For those teachers out there, I would love to know how you stayed motivated. I’ve heard all of these stories about people burning out in their first year, but that doesn’t describe my situation at all. I’m not burn out; this situation almost makes me more determined than ever. But I also want to retract my trust and understanding of my kids to ensure that people have less to say about me for the positive or the negative. That way I figure I can fly under the radar and do my job without being emotionally attached or liable to an emotional attack! 

I wonder what would happen if I open my Bible right now… It’s sitting right beside my bed and I could easily flick on my lamp to read a passage or two. But here’s the funny thing: as much as I rely on my belief in a higher power to keep up my faith and hope and get me through my days, I’m not sure if I opened that book I’d understand anything that I read out of it. I never have really understood the Bible, except for the simpler parts (such as the Christmas story, the way God made the Earth, the animals, etc., and the Easter story). All of the other bits inside of that text normally need to be explained to me by someone else. 

Which may be the reason that I am not as religious as I could be. I simply don’t have the time or the motivation to sit down after a long day’s work and try to listen to someone explain this ridiculously complicated text. Sad, but true.

That also reminds me that, at Church on Sunday, my grandma almost got hit by a piece of the ceiling which was falling down under the weight of the snow. Thankfully I wasn’t there to witness the scene or I would have been a mess. Needless to say, how much faith can we put in God if even our place of worship is (quite literally) crumbling around our feet? And then I think, well at least she didn’t actually get hit. Maybe God couldn’t stop the ceiling from falling but he could stop anyone from being hurt…

I find it funny how I often see two sides to every story. Less so when I’m directly involved in the story of course, but I definitely have this idea of putting myself in someone else’s shoes. Even now, as I sit and think about these things, I see two aspects to every story. For my student- it is apparent that they are still an adolescent who has not learned the true meaning of a “good” person. To them it seems that a good person is one who bends the rules and does what they must to make the child’s life easier. May be a sad perspective, but it cannot be said in any way that kids have the best outlook on life…Then there’s the ceiling incident; God may have acted in a negative way or he may have acted in a small, yet positive way. 

And the worst part about these situations is that I have no idea which “side” is “right”. Doesn’t it depend on who you are and what you observe? Doesn’t truth really become a relative concept, as time or space, based upon the location and motion of the observer? 

Then I think back on the ways I have acted today and the things that I have said or done… I wonder how people perceive my actions; do I look as immature and crazy as my student (thus explaining why my coworkers treat me the way they do), or am I perceived as a mature and intelligent individual? I believe my friend sees me as mature and intelligent, as do my parents. Then again, since I asked my friend some crazy, ludicrous, completely random question this afternoon, I’d be surprised if they didn’t change their view of me in order to protect himself and save his life from the affects of my insanity. 

I am getting tired now and starting to ramble. I guess the moral of this story is simply this: We all make mistakes and we all see things differently. Only by seeing things from another’s perspective or simply being able to recognize that there are different perspectives can we ever begin to truly know another person completely. 

Maybe one day it will be possible for me to understand all of the workings of someone else’s mind. Maybe…

~Me

Perfect Snow Days

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I know already that today will probably be the last snow day that I have this winter, so I’m trying to soak it up and enjoy it. So far I have successfully finished some school work, had some fun with a friend, watched three movies, taken a nap, eaten a decent lunch, and had an overall great day.

At one point my friend and I had sat down and gone through a list of questions to help people get to know each other better. Some of the questions were silly. Others didn’t even make any sense because it was ten am and they were asking things like “what is the best thing that happened to you today.” Needless to say the best I could come up with is that I got to sleep in.

Now, as I sit on the couch watching Mystic River with some people I care about, I feel nervous about nothing in particular. Maybe that Mom won’t come home and ask fifty questions, maybe that my friend isn’t feeling as uncomfortable as I feel like he is, or maybe that I have nothing to worry about but am just tired or stressed for some reason.

Regardless, I am finding myself relying heavily on my faith right now as I try to remain calm and sort out my tangled web of thoughts so that I can successfully settle myself enough to be able to enjoy the rest of my evening.

It’s funny; though many people disagree with my beliefs because I an either too religious or not religious enough, when I sit down and think about it, I think most people would understand my faiths if they just asked me to explain it.

Faith to me is this… believing in some thing, some person beyond myself who can control more than I can. It might seem silly to believe in something I cannot see, hear, feel, etc. but it doesn’t make any sense that someway, somehow, I can feel like crap one minute and feel better the next. There are moments when anxiety and nerves can get so huge and encompassing that it’s impossible to focus on anything else. And when that same large effect continues for any length of extended time, there just seems to be no hope that it will ever go away. So I have to have faith. Because if I’ve already given up on myself then who else is going to believe in me but some higher power?

Along similar lines, if I don’t have someone who believes in me in heaven or some other unseen place, then How can I ever expect to make a difference in this world. Most times I know I am smart and caring, but sometimes I have very little self-confidence and even less belief that I do things because I care about others rather than because I am selfish.

I might write again later but for now I just need to ask this: How can anyone know what is right or wrong for another person unless they are psychic? I’m ridiculously scared of hurting other people, particularly with my words and actions. So how do I know which things are okay to say and do if I don’t have my own psychic powers? I guess I’ll just have to pray about it and hope that somehow I get an answer before I hurt someone else in my life.

31 Things I Admire About You

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31 Things I Admire About You

I’m pretty sure everyone has probably seen my most recently-added quote already. If not, go check it out! But if you have, I just have to say that someone actually said this about ME! Who knew such kind words were even possible while being equally as accurate and embarrassing to me. Looks like I am still learning how to get comfortable in my own skin.

For this post, I realized that there are millions of things that I admire about people who are or have been in my life. And so, to go along with that most recent quote, I have decided to make a list of 100 things I admire about people (or a single person… I haven’t decided yet). One way or the other, here goes nothing!

  1. I admire your eyes… I like the color of your eyes.
  2. I admire your smile- it’s super goofy and yet completely adorable. I admire the fact that it can make anyone’s day brighter just at the sight of it.
  3. I admire your heart. You have such a big heart. So big I doubt that I even realize the full extent of it yet. I admire the way it touches people’s lives in the simplest and yet most meaningful ways.
  4. I admire your comic relief. Somehow, someway, no matter what is going on, you know how to make people laugh and feel relaxed. 
  5. I admire your independence. You easily take care of yourself as well as the others around you. How you do it is beyond me, but it doesn’t go unnoticed.
  6. I admire your maturity; I can’t stand most people your age. And before you ask, maybe I do make a stereotype out of that group, but you break the mold for sure.
  7. I admire your individuality. From being able to use both hands for different tasks (never heard of this before!) to not fitting into that mold I discussed earlier, you set yourself apart from others in positive, noticeable ways.
  8. I admire the way you know who I am without even asking. You can tell when I’m happy, mad, sad, or any other emotion on the roller coaster that s my life.
  9. I admire the way you care about someone without even realizing that you do it. You don’t realize how loving and kind you are, but the rest of us can see it. 
  10. I admire the fact that you are a gentleman. From asking if a lady is okay to making sure a space is clean for her, you take care of her and show her that she’s something special even if she’s not.
  11. I like how random you are. You come up with the craziest, most insane conversation topics sometimes, but I love answering your silly questions and knowing that you are wondering about my opinion on all sorts of topics.
  12. I admire the fact that you are smart but you are not audible or boastful about it. I like the way that you can answer a question at random but don’t always need to know the correct answer to everything in order to be happy.
  13. I admire the way you care for  others who are important to me. Without even knowing them or having met them, you ask about them and make sure they are all okay. 
  14. I admire the way you dress. Silly as that sounds, you always look nice. It’s nice to know that you put some effort into your hygiene and looking nice just to see me or for no apparent reason at all.
  15. I admire the way want to know everything about me, from the simplest to the most complicated. It makes me feel important and makes me wish I cared about everyone as much as you care for me.
  16. I admire the way you make me feel safe even when there’s nothing around that I need protecting from. I like how natural it feels for me to be relaxed and comfortable around you. With my anxiety, that’s rare for sure.
  17. I admire your goals in life. You might not have everything figured out for your future, but you know what your short term goals are and how those achievements will help you in the future.
  18. I admire that you haven’t needed someone in your life to be happy. While it may seem like you missed out, I promise you didn’t. You learned way more about yourself than most older people ever end up knowing.
  19. I admire your patience and how you are willing to deal with just about anything until you get annoyed. 
  20. I admire you. The way you look, the way you speak, the way you act, and the way you treat me. From your head to your toes. You make people happy, you set a great example for others, and you (whether for good or bad) remind me so much of myself. I suddenly feel like I’m not so alone.
  21. I admire how appreciative you are of the things that I can do. You don’t focus on my limitations or how you miss out on things because I cannot give them to you. Instead you focus on what I can give and how that makes you feel better. 
  22. I admire your honesty. Even if people don’t always want to hear what you have to say, you give them the truth so that they completely understand your opinion and the facts.
  23. I admire your quiet side. It’s rare that I talk more than anyone else, and being able to talk more than you gives me a new perspective on how a relationship with someone can be. Normally I’m the shy, withdrawn one. Not with you.
  24. I admire your goofy faces, because every goofy face has a new memory hiding behind it.
  25. I admire your nose. Yes, your nose. Not because it is currently creeping me out, but because it is unique in its own way and is part of you. I might be crazy, but I admire this unique part of you. 
  26. I admire the way that you check to make sure we are on the same page about everything. Before we go to a movie or out to dinner, you make sure that we both agree on where we are going, what we are seeing, etc. (This also applies to the more important things that we discuss which don’t need to be placed on my blog for the world to see.) 
  27. I admire your willingness to know my family. Anyone who meets them should expect to become insane, but you welcome it with open arms because they mean a lot to me.
  28. I admire the way that you don’t get embarrassed easily. I guess this goes along with being open and honest as I discussed before, but this one is different too. You can tell me anything or say anything and you won’t be ashamed of any flaw or error that you have or have ever made.
  29. I admire the way you worry without letting me realize it often. Every now and then I will realize that you are worried about me, but more often than not, you worry about me quietly until you realize I need you. Then you step in and help.
  30. I admire the fact that you can give amazing advice. You understand things about my emotions that I don’t even understand and you use this knowledge to help me make hard decisions.
  31. I admire that you have pet peeves that I exhibit all the time but you still accept me and overlook the frustration they make you feel just so I don’t feel so bad about breaking them in the first place. 

~Me