Monthly Archives: June 2014

Monday’s Message


Message Monday

This is the first Monday of my blog, and as usual, I have decided to make myself a “mandatory” daily post. I am sitting around today and just trying to relax, so you may see more than one post for me, but this will be the weekly type of post that you will see every Monday. Monday’s Message posts are a little random, but they will all teach something to people if they are interested to learn. As with all of my posts, the opinions and statements made will be left up to interpretation and will be based mostly on my opinions and experiences. These posts may involve just about anything, but will often be based around interactions with family or friends, or work experiences. So enjoy this first one and let me know what you think!

Working in retail is awful. Just awful. There are these things called “customers” who expect us “retailers” to slave over items for them every day of the year, regardless of hour, day of the week, or extenuating circumstances (can we say hello to Christmas???). Often times we have to wear special uniforms, show up for shifts early, and stay late to accommodate customers. It’s not the end of the world for those of us who love doing things for people, for those of us who like to make a difference in someone’s day and put a smile on your face. Sounds great right?

But don’t be fooled; being a retail associate is like being on a roller coaster. There are so many different possibilities for how your day will go that you can never be 100% sure what you are getting yourself into. Let’s start at the beginning….

Molly is sixteen and wants her own car. She may still be going to school, but our society doesn’t care. If she ever hopes to make anything of herself, she better start working now so that she can build up her experience (and her savings account). After eight hours of school a day, Molly gets picked up by her mom. In the car, she scrambles to eat a supper of granola bars and peanut butter crackers. Within fifteen minutes, the car pulls to an abrupt halt outside of the local grocery store. Surrounded by food, Molly rushes down the aisles towards the employee lockers. After stuffing her purse, cell phone, and keys inside, she runs down the hall to the bathroom to change into her uniform. The shirt is bright orange and plaid. Some people might be able to pull it off, but with her light complexion and round shape, she looks in the mirror and instantly thinks, “I look like a fruit. A big, orange. Great.” But there’s nothing she can do about it. She pins her name tag onto her shoulder (it must go on the right, never the left according to the Employee Handbook) and runs out the door.

For three days a week this is Molly’s routine. She goes straight from school to work and deals with customers for five hours. Most days she loves the job, the feeling of being an adult, and the opportunity to socialize after school. But this is not fun. Even though the town is small, people walking through the store buying groceries for their family always seem to be in such a rush. Many of them are grumpy if they have to wait in line for even a minute. But there are only three registers in the entire store and three people can only work so fast.

By the time Molly gets off of work, she goes home, showers, and stays up until 11 doing homework assignments. She rarely ever gets it done anymore, but at least she still tries to put in some effort. Molly’s dream is to be a nurse, but without good grades and the wages that she makes, she’ll never make it to college, let alone afford the car she’s been wanting since she got her license a month ago.

The weekends are normally better for Molly. And we say better, because it all depends on the customers (again). For eight hours on Saturday and Sunday, Molly works at the store, scanning product after product like a robot. Again good conversations happen with customers, but other people- parents with 5 or 6 kids- can be pushy and rude when their kids start to get restless. There’s nothing more Molly can do but ask for someone to help her bag the products, but even that does not suffice to meet their needs.

Day in and day out, Molly works at the grocery store. She never goes to Church with her family anymore, never gets to go to the movies, and barely has time to breathe. This is the life that she has chosen- as is the opinion of her best friend Tory- but one that will lead her to (hopefully) a more comfortable life down the road. Forget about her wants, forget even half of her needs; if Molly hopes to survive in this society, she must work equally hard at both school and her job.

We think that Molly’s life is extremely difficult, but normal for most of the teenagers that we know today. Working a part-time job gives them good work ethic, and as long as they don’t plan to do much else with their life, they will have time to relax and rest as well. Molly’s situation isn’t the worse though. There are many others who struggle even more than she does. Take this story for example…

David is a full-time college student who already owes $70,000 to his college. If he ever hopes to make it through his senior year, he must also work full-time as a sales associate in the local mall. David attends a state college close to home. He still lives with his parents and struggles to get to class on time. His professors call him lazy and act as though David is the worst student they have ever seen. Yet in reality, David is by far the smartest student in each of his classes. He could be the smartest in the entire school. The problem is that David didn’t start working as early as Molly did. His parents never went to college, so they don’t have jobs with the means to support his tuition. His teachers expected great things of him, but now all David wants is to quit school and work so that he can afford to pay for more than Ra-men noodles. In November, David will have no choice but to stop pursuing his career goal of being a teacher. At least for the time being. Because colleges have this lovely program where, if you want to be a teacher or a doctor or some other professional, you sometimes have to work a few months for free. The experience is amazing! The things that you learn cannot be read out of a textbook. But David won’t be able to survive three months without any pay. These things that people call “internships” are blessings and evils all at the same time. At least that is the case for many college students who cannot ask their parents for help. There are ways around this issue, and David will finish school in a few years, but he won’t graduate with the rest of the students his age. He won’t see a classroom until he’s 30, and the lack of experience that he will deal with in the next few years will make it even harder for him to get a job when that time comes.

And so we think that David’s life is hard. Many people have it easier, and some have it way worse. But throughout it all, he still has to keep his goals in mind while helping out around the house, working, going to school, and trying to find a minute to breathe. Having two or three part-time jobs is hard, but having two or three full-time jobs is even harder.

These stories are all about students of one age or another though. And sure, I’m picking out the negatives here and pointing out the horrors of retail sales. It’s not all bad, and it’s not impossible to deal with. Some of us love retail jobs. I know I used to. But for the hassle that these people go through every day, their paychecks might as well be non existent. Yes, every little bit helps, but these people help to RUN our country without many of us even realizing it. It takes everyone to make our world work. It takes hours and hours of time to build a product, grow some food, clean it all up, distribute it, and sell it to people like us. I may be focusing on the fact that retail associates work their butts off and deserve way more than they get for their time and effort, but in all reality, there are so many of us that deserve more for what we give.

The Bible says we should give and not worry about taking, that we should open our hearts to everyone and not shut anyone out. But this society that our ancestors have created doesn’t work in accordance with any of those lovely thoughts that the Bible intends for us to follow. If you don’t push for raises and better jobs- if you don’t force yourself to earn as much money as possible and worry about it daily- you must either be a genius or work for the government.

So to all those of us who are struggling through life, regardless of our career paths and family situations, I say we deserve more. To all those who feel like their life is perfect, I dare them to question how often they have been snippy or mean or just plain rude to someone else to get where they are. And for those of us who are somewhere in between the rich and famous and the homeless and poor, I push us the most; to make a change, to start with the small things, and to believe in the big things. Maybe stressing and working so hard all the time isn’t the answer. Maybe we need to take a step back and get back in touch with our emotions and what is truly right. Because without each other, without love, we’re nothing. Nothing any better than the government officials who try to take away our rights and say they will fight for us, while eating bigger meals and driving better cars than any of us will ever even think to dream of.

Not everyone is evil, but everyone can be better. I challenge everyone who reads this to make a small difference in their life, not just today, but every day. It doesn’t have to be huge,-you don’t have to donate your entire life savings or anything drastic. But think about this- the next time you walk through Walmart and see the (normally) elderly man or woman standing at the door to greet you, beat them to it. Say hi, and on the way out of the store, wish them a good day. What’s the harm? They won’t reach out and bite you and they definitely won’t put up a fight. There’s nothing wrong with putting a small smile on someone else’s face at least once a day. So I challenge you to do just that. Because maybe, just maybe, if we all make small steps towards treating each other better, maybe all of this nonsense about financial burdens and wars with other countries won’t be seem bad. Maybe somehow, if we’re nice to each other, people will follow our lead. And if everyone has just a little bit of heart, maybe we can impact this country in more than one small way. In the end, your one daily act of kindness may lead to a larger act of kindness on someone’s else part. Before we think we can change the whole world at the drop of a hat,  let’s try to change ourselves first. Stay true to who are and believe in whichever religion you feel is right for you. But at the end of the day, get in touch with those emotions and do something good for someone else just because you can. Sooner or later, maybe we’ll all stop leaving others behind us, homeless, needy, and sick.

If you have a good idea for how someone can make the smallest difference, leave your thoughts below. I look forward to hearing some great ideas that I can use in my own life to set forth the kind of good that everyone deserves to see and feel in their lives.



Sunday: The Sermon of Trust


Sunday Sermon

I am very much enjoying my day today. Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday, so we are spending time as a family today. (Unfortunately if your birthday is on a weekday, you basically don’t act like it exists that day because everyone works at odd hours throughout the day. Literally, at least one of us is out of the house from about 5am to 10pm.) This  means that I cannot wait until tonight— cake!!! A shout out to my mom anyway, even though I haven’t told anyone in my family that I have this blog. Like I said, I need a space all to myself where I can throw thoughts and not have any effects come from it. Not that my family would be judgmental, but I’m just not taking any chance that a thought pops out of my head and isn’t something they would want to know. But I digress…

Today’s post is going to be a sermon of sorts, but it’s not really going to teach anything per say. I am mostly going to talk about my Faith from my perspective. Each week I will do a similar post (unless I’ve got nothing good to say at the time), and you will get to know more about my beliefs, my struggles, and my successes. I did find this really interesting quote page out of my mom’s prayer book this morning. I forget what the book is actually called, but it has a scripture/interpretation for each day of the year. There’s something different to think about for every day. I thought that would be a good place to start searching for the topic of my first Sunday post.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t too impressed with today’s page. It had no significant meaning to me at this point in my life. But I decided to continue to flip through the book to look for something more pertinent to my life. And this is what I found:

Trust me, and don’t be afraid. I want you to view trials as exercises designed to develop your trust-muscles. You live in the midst of fierce spiritual battles, and fear is one of Satan’s favorite weapons. When you start to feel afraid, affirm your trust in Me. Speak out loud, if circumstances permit. Resist the devil in My Name, and he will slink away from you. Refresh yourself in My holy Presence. Speak or sing praises to Me, and My Face will shine radiantly upon you.

Remember that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Me. You have been judged not guilty for all eternity. Trust Me, and don’t be afraid; for I am your Strength, Song, and Salvation.

So I admit it, I have major trust issues. I’m sure a lot of people do. But today I had a conversation with my boyfriend that really made it clear to me just how much my issues can affect my life. God says trust him and don’t be afraid, so I am going to try. I mean, I try already, but I’m just no good at it. I haven’t had a good base of trust with anyone but my parents and my sister for too many years to count. I guess when someone messes up your childhood, those thoughts and feelings are more likely to stick with you through adulthood.

Here I sit now, scared to trust anyone whom I haven’t known for my entire life. Even some of the people in that category are not to be trusted. Questions fly through my head when I think about this fact. Like, what is my future going to look like if I cannot accept anyone else into my life? How can I be such a loving person if I cannot trust others? What kind of relationship can my boyfriend and I really have without me giving my full trust, my full heart to him? We love each other, but sometimes I wonder if that love is enough to overcome the difficulties that I place in our way…

I feel as though the situation will never change. I’ve been like this for so many years that I’m not sure I really remember a time where I was guarded with my trust. I know there was a time when I would love anyone and anything, but I fear that time has passed too long ago for me to recall.

The scriptures from Isaiah and Romans that have been combined into the passage I quoted above must be trying to tell me something, but I’m desperately scrambling to figure out what they mean. Trust in God, I get that. He won’t hurt me, condemn me, or hold my sins against me. But I go back to the problem of trust. How can I even trust God if I cannot trust anyone or anything else either? Most days I don’t even trust myself. The passage has some really good points, especially that the devil (and evil in general) often prey on fear. That is one of the beliefs I have that I am pretty firm in. The “weaker” you are, the more bullies are attracted to you. Unfortunately, there isn’t much difference between a bully and the devil.

I know I’m not weak enough to be deterred in that way, but I’m somewhere in limbo. I’m not on the devil’s side for sure, but I am feeling unsuccessful at being a child of God. He wants to test us, He wants to make us better people. That’s why we go through all of the hardships that we go through (at least in my opinion). But the trials have tested my “trust-muscles” more than I think they can handle. People always say that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, but I can’t get my mind wrapped around that either. At least not in this instance. If my trust was only to be tested, not broken, then why does it seem so broken now?

I guess I am just going to have to try to trust God and see what happens. Luckily, after the discussion that I had with my boyfriend, he is still very willing to stand by my side and love me for whatever I can be and however much I can give him. I feel like it’s not exactly fair to ask him to stick around, but if he wants to stay, I will not push him away. Call me selfish or whatever you want to, but I love him too much to think that any of this can improve without his help.

I want to be one of those Christians who gives everything up to God. I’ve heard them preach, pray, and talk of their experiences on numerous occasions and I wish that I could be as good as they are. I love God, I love being able to go to Church, I love the fact that I have Faith. None of those things will make my life perfect, and I don’t expect them too. I just wish that I would turn to God when things got tough, and even when they aren’t so tough. I wish I had Faith as strong as all those others. I don’t look for miracles, I don’t ask for things that I want (and sometimes not even those I need), but I wish that I could better understand my Faith. Maybe just maybe, I could also find my trust again.

For those of you who have any advice, have gone through similar feelings, or just want to show some support, I truly appreciate it! Leave comments below so I know I’m not alone! Thanks so much (in advance).



Grab Bag Introduction


Saturday Header

What’s up for today?

I liked the idea of the Friday Mash-Up yesterday. It will give me a chance to ramble a tad without rambling ALL the time! So even though no one has read (or maybe just not liked/commented) yesterday’s post, I think I am going to go ahead and stick with the Mash-up theme for Fridays. Plus we have already established that Thursdays on this blog with be TBT days, except I will be posting chapters from the story that I wrote a few years ago. (After I run out of story, who knows what will happen…)

So for Saturdays, I wanted to do something fun. Something exciting! I hate always talking and not being sure if anyone is out there hearing me or interested. Plus Saturdays are the best day of the week. It’s the weekend, we can all relax for a few days, and (like today) the weather can make for excellent family or friend outing opportunities.

Keeping with the carefree nature of Saturdays, I am going to start Saturday Reader’s Choice posts. Obviously, this implies that I need input from all of you. So here is how it will all work:

  • As many followers, readers, etc. can comment on a Saturday post as would like to participate. 
  • When you are posting ideas for the following week, you must start your comment with the words ‘Grab Bag’. 
  • Each Saturday I will read the ideas and choose my favorite to write about for that Saturday’s post. From there, readers can comment on it to try to have their topic discussed the following week. 
  • Please, only one idea per reader per week. I want to give everyone and opportunity to participate! However, if your ideas are the best, I may end up writing about your ideas each week. 

This is supposed to be a fun idea, so please participate and make it interesting! You can request me to research a topic that you would like to know more about, answer a question that you would like to ask, etc. Be spontaneous and come up with the most interesting, best idea possible. By the end of next week, if we have participators, I will keep up with the Saturday Reader’s Choice posts. Otherwise, I will have to come up with a new idea. 😦

The fun starts… NOW!

Share your Thoughts Below

Friday’s Mash-Up: The Golden Hearted Girl



What to post today??

Well, I’ll tell you. Today’s post is just a mash-up of thoughts that I am having today. First, let me just say two very important things:

  1. I am absolutely LOVING the ability to write on this blog every day.
  2. I am so appreciative of the people who have liked, commented, or followed my blog so far! I don’t have many followers yet, but those of you who are in that category are something special to me. The fact that you even read one of my posts makes my day about fifty times over!

In the words of Confucius,

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

I am trying to refrain from that type of behavior in this blog. I’ve got too much stress, excitement, and hubbub in my life. Having a few good supporters and a bunch of words to put to the page, I am completely satisfied with my blogging experience thus far.

In other news, I have been spending a ton of time acting like a crazy person. And it’s all because my brain is full of this nonsense…

…Well maybe not all of it. But a lot of it. Chemistry, physics, calculus, geometry. I am literally praying to God that I make it through the next year. If my brain already looks like that jumbled up mess, I hate to even see what I will be like at the end of August! (I’m a teacher, in case you couldn’t guess.)

I am still waiting to hear about my friend’s condition, but have to make a huge shout-out to my best friend, my sister! She has offered to go and live with the family until things get back to normal. That way she can help watch the kid, the dogs, etc. Is it bad of me to be slightly jealous of her? Let’s face it, I don’t have the guts to offer something so bold, brave, and courageous. I’m a wimp for one thing. For another, I don’t do well in situations in which I am uncomfortable (or even think that I may be). So while my sister is out, seemingly saving the world, here I sit praying that I will one day be as good of a person as she is. No one has a golden heart like that girl! If they do, I have yet to meet them. Though maybe meeting them is a good thing… if by surrounding myself with golden treasures, I can become a golden treasure myself, then I’m all for it!

But I have a feeling that my fears and insecurities will keep me from achieving much of the greatest that my sister exhibits. So yeah, I’m jealous of her abilities. But more than anything, I am proud of that girl! She might be my younger sister but you could consider her the bigger sister in so many ways. Sometimes I wonder how you can’t see her heart popping out of her chest, it must be that big.

So does our friend have cancer? Who knows… Will everything work out okay? Uh, not sure…

The only thing I do know for sure is that we definitely still need prayers for the situation and that my sister could be a miracle worker some day. For now, I trust that God is leaving the rest up to interpretation for now because he is teaching me a lesson. I know that some of you may not believe that God makes everything happen for a reason, or to teach us a lesson. (Heck, maybe you don’t believe in Him at all.) Yet I do believe that, even if God is not all-controlling of our minds, talents, and decisions, he does have some kind of pull on the events of the world and how they happen. If that’s true, I highly doubt He’s just sitting up there in Heaven somewhere saying “ooo, this would be funny! Let’s try this!” just for the heck of it. So all of this has to be for a reason. I hope. I’ll just keep praying that we find out what that reason is sooner rather than later, and that (hopefully) it is a good reason. A simple lesson learned, with no one the worse for it.

Sorry my post tonight ended up centering around that situation again. I hadn’t meant it to, but apparently that is what is most on my mind. I’ll try to write something a little different later on. For now, leave a comment and let me know if you or someone you know needs or would like prayer. I will gladly return the favor. 🙂

TBT: Finding Heart Chapter 1


I’m standing on top of the table in the cafeteria. It’s not just any table; it’s the popular table, my table. Well, it used to be. At the moment I’m telling off my soon to be ex-best friend because she has this horrible whiny voice that won’t stop teasing the “No-lifers” of our school. That’s what her group calls them, this so-called “friend” of mine. Basically anyone who is not sitting within ten feet of my beautifully sandaled feet is a No-lifer. Anyone within the ten feet is considered a Lifer, a popular one.
Anyways, I’ll get back to my point. I’m on top of this table, for whatever reason, about to curse out some girl that I have never even attempted to talk back to in my life. Yet, I have wished this would happen so many times. I’m not sure why I have suddenly come to the conclusion that an outburst is the only thing that will solve this problem, but I finally have.
Everyone is staring at me as if I’m a leech, a No-lifer, and a freak. This doesn’t surprise me because that’s my problem in the first place. Everyone has been looking at me like I have three heads lately. They’ve all, even my friends, been talking about me like all three of my heads were never attached to ears. They act as though I can’t hear them, as though I can’t see.
Even now Melanie’s smirking face is making my stomach twist and knot. I want to punch her instead of yelling at her but I know I don’t have the guts to do that much. I’m barely standing on these wobbling legs as it is. In a split second I find that my brain is finally getting tired of everyone staring at me. I’m tired of my feet wobbling. So I begin to open my mouth. I’m not quite sure what will come out, but I’m about to do something I have never dreamed possible.

Sigh. A slight nudge on my shoulder makes me realize it was all too good to be true. As my eyes refocus on reality I realize that I’m still sitting. At least I’m not being bumped and jolted around like normal. The group seems a bit less than rowdy today. I’m not sure what’s going on.
As I zone in on the conversation that Melanie and Samantha are having on my right, I realize that there’s a new kid in school. They’re talking about him as though he is a parasite. Whoever this poor guy is, he’s definitely a class A No-lifer in their eyes. Funny, I didn’t even notice there was anyone new today and the day’s half over already. Thank God for that fact.
It seems as if life cannot get any harder for me right now. It’s been this way for the past few months. Though Melanie and I sit loyally beside each other every day at lunch, walk to classes together, and do homework in the same group things have totally changed. I’m not sure if her attitude has gotten worse or if I’ve simply become tired of this way of life. So many times I dream of walking away, pretending this is not my table, not my group of friends, not my life. Then in the next minute I’m realizing that Melanie and the rest of my friends are all I know. They’re all I’ve ever really known.
It started back in second grade when I met Samantha. She and I became close instantly. With her she brought into my life a huge new group of friends. Her cousin’s dad and her parents were always important in our town. Children and their parents easily flocked to the two “heads” of our group. It’s always been that way, and for whatever reason no one has ever questioned the ranking order of our class’ students.
Again I’m pulled back from my mind. “So Hilary, what’s your problem today? You’ve been so off lately that it’s not even funny,” asks Melanie now that she seems to have realized I am still sitting beside her. At the instant she asks, everyone’s heads turn. Every person at the table turns to stare at me. The entire lunchroom seems quieter now and the only thing I can hear is my heart. It feels like it’s trying to beat out of my chest.
“Not much, why do you ask?” I am finally able to reply.
“You just are acting so weird,” she replies with a smirk on her face.

“Weird how? I don’t understand…”
“Well it seems to me, and the rest of us here, that you have a little secret to share. So why don’t you tell everyone? Tell them about your secret, your new crush.”
“I’m not quite sure I know what you’re talking about,” I say as my voice trails off thoughtfully.
“We know that you and Brandon are ‘together’. You might as well tell everyone that you are madly in love with the school’s new No-lifer.”
As soon as the words are out of her mouth everyone at the entire table starts to crack up laughing. I, on the other hand, am totally confused. My cheeks begin to heat as my heart races faster and faster. I know everyone is looking at me but I don’t see any of them. I’m staring at my feet instead, hoping that I lost myself in my daydreams again. Too bad I know I’m in reality this time. None of my daydreams ever turn out like this. The only similarity between now and my dreams is the fact that someone is standing up and shouting.
As I glance up, I see Melanie standing there shouting to get the entire grade’s attention. It doesn’t take long for her to accomplish. Sooner than I ever thought possible everyone’s eyes are on our table, on Melanie standing there laughing, and on her trusty sidekick Samantha. “I just wanted you all to know, that new boy Brandon is now one of the luckiest men in the world. He seems to be lucky enough to have snagged our very own, newly ranked No-lifer, Hilary.”
If the entire lunchroom wasn’t quiet before, they are now. Had my cheeks been able to get any redder, they would have right at that instant. I’m not sure what led her to think these horrible things, but my feet are quickly becoming my best friends, and my worst. As I stand up, I almost lose my balance from the dizzy feeling my head is giving me. I can’t seem to walk straight. At the same time, staring at my feet allows me to almost forget that everyone is staring at me.
Where are all of the teachers? What is happening? Why me? My brain simply won’t stop running in circles, and I feel like I’m on the verge of puking. As I race for the bathroom, I bump into someone. I don’t even look to see who it is. Instead of mumbling sorry, I grab my mouth, my stomach- and I race as fast as I can to the door on my left.
I’ll save you from the gory details of what happened next, but before I realize it, I’m curled up on the lid of the large handicap toilet. No one ever uses this one; as long as I keep my feet off the ground no one should notice me for a few hours. That’s all I have to last, I tell myself, just a few more hours.
How my life turned out this way, how I am finding myself alone, sick, and ready to die, I’m not sure. But that’s where I am and I can’t seem to find any way out of it. As my anxiety starts to take control of my body, I begin to shake. My breathing quickens and my oxygen intake slows. I place my hands over my head as I start to suffocate. I absolutely hate stupid anxiety attacks but I’ve had them since before I can even remember. I’ll make it through this one just like the rest of them… I hope.


Finding Heart: Introduction


A few years ago I wrote a story…

It was never published or anything like that, but I do have a copyright on it. It was a big thing for me for quite a long time. I remember how it all started…

Summer was coming and school was over. I was (still am, thank you!) a complete nerd, and was going to miss having something academically stimulating to work on. So one of the faculty members at my school suggested that I write a short story over the summer. “Play around with it,” she said, “See what you can come up with.”

So I started writing. Randomly at first, and then with some more purpose. The first part of the story that I finally came up with and decided to use is my favorite part of the entire thing.

Needless to say, I have kept a hold of the thing for this long, and nothing has ever come of it. I’ve thought about self-publishing but just don’t have money to  put into that adventure in this stage of my life. I’ve considered posting it here instead, and think that I will begin to do so instead of doing something similar to TBT (as I had originally planned).

The story isn’t a difficult read, and many of the sections aren’t very long. It will only take a few minutes to read, since I will only post one section per week.

Any comments on the story idea would be great! I am not sure that I’ll write anymore or do more tweaking, but it’s good to know other people’s opinions.

Thanks so much!

And so it goes… again


images (2)

I never thought that I would be writing this post today. Yet as I was sitting here, I just had to write. I’m trying to work on Physics, and let’s face it: centripetal acceleration or the escape speed of objects in orbit is not the easiest to understand on a GOOD day. But this is not a good day. The things inside of my head are making it absolutely impossible to focus on my science. Instead, here I am…



We all know what this little ribbon stands for. (For those of you who don’t, look it up.) Cancer is one of those things that are awful regardless of the timing, person, cause, location, or circumstance. We always hear about breast cancer, lung cancer, etc. but there are probably hundreds of different cancers that can occur in a person’s body. And what are we supposed to do about it?

When you find out that someone you love has cancer, how do you act? What do you say? What do you do? It’s not as though I can create a cure for cancer just like that. I’m not that smart, even if I wanted to be. And it’s not like your words can distract them from what is really going on. As if fighting cancer is not hard enough in most circumstances, it requires hours and hours of time with doctors and therapists and whoever else… discussing or focusing on the cancer inside of you. Forgetting about it, even for a moment, must be near impossible.

So what do I say to my friend, who may now have a cancerous tumor? The thing is huge, and is being removed next week, but if they find it is cancerous, chemo and other awful treatments are in her near future. And what do you say to the person to really, truly help? Do you offer to help with the kids, or is that for the family to deal with? Do you try to go to all appointments with her, hold her hand when her husband can’t be there? There is no guideline for friends of cancer patients.

Plus the wait is killing me. Is it or is it not cancer? If it’s not, then I’m doing all of this worry… to what purpose? It’s such a confusing situation, that the more I think about it, the more confused I become. Ugh!

I have known people in the past who have died (and survived) from cancer. My own grandmother has survived cancer three or four times now. But this is different. This is someone who has not already been through a majority of her life. This is a person who successfully nurtures and cares for an autistic child that, while hers in most sense, is not even her biological kin. She also runs a side business all on her own, since her partner (her mother) just passed away.

So here I sit, unsure what to do or say to make this situation better. I just keep thinking that my friend has been through too much lately to deal with anymore. But deal with more she must…

Cancer is an evil thing, and I still don’t get the purpose of it. I’m no longer a child, but I still don’t see the reason. And maybe God has planned it that way, because I don’t know that anyone else gets the reason either. Is it just to scare or humble us? I mean, it’s sole purpose cannot be to take those He needs to Heaven, because not everyone with cancer dies. Yet what purpose does it have for those that survive, except to make them grateful and appreciative? Like I said, I am one confused chicka sitting over here.

Anyway, I still do not know what to do about this entire situation, especially if the tests come back with cancerous results. So for the moment, if you believe in God, any God, please pray for the safety of my friend. She will appreciate it a million times over. If you have any advice for me, please PLEASE leave it in the comments below. Otherwise, just answer this poll, because I like polls and am curious. 

The Story of Me



As a start to my blog, I’ve decided that it is best to give a brief introduction of myself so that anyone out there can (hopefully) find some common way in which we relate to one another.

I’m a female (obviously) from the East Coast of the United States, and I take great pride in everything I do. My family is the most important thing to me in the entire world. I would do basically anything for them. We are all Christians, and it is nice to have my family supporting me in all aspects of my life, especially my religion.

But I want to make it very clear that this blog is NOT entirely about my Christian beliefs, questions, etc. Millions of thoughts run through my mind when I experience different parts of life, and I need someone (and hopefully some people) to tell my thoughts to. I want to learn how to be a better person by interacting with different people from all different walks of life. I want to learn what people’s most admired traits are, and figure out what kind of a person I am supposed to be. For my age, I am very mature and very sure of my ways, but I still have a lot of learning to do.

Finally, you all need to know that I love polls! I will often be asking questions that I am curious about, so please answer! After all, they are anonymous, so you have nothing to lose! The answers you give will help me to learn more about the world, more about other people’s religions, etc. And that’s the entire purpose of this whole thing- I want to learn more about religions, life, and characteristics that will make myself a better person.

To wrap up this post, I want to ask everyone: