Hold on to Hope

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I believe the worst possible thing to ever happen to a teacher or a student actually occurred this week. I mean, outside of class, there is always the possibility of death, destruction, etc. Let’s face it; we don’t really live in a safe world. But this week, something horrific happened in the classroom. I, for one, cannot seem to get over it.

Every time I have to see or interact in any way with the person involved, my teeth grit and my stomach crawls. I feel like I’m going to be sick if I have to look anywhere close to his face. Lucky for me, I have effectively avoided said person for the better of a week now, but he has started to react more awkwardly as time passes. I personally have millions of issues with the occurrence that took place but have even more issues with the way that it was handled afterwards. 

While I cannot get into details here, let me just say that if I ever did something like that… if I ever even thought of doing something like that for such an unimportant reason… Dear God, just have someone murder me please. Or maybe my truck would drive off a bridge into freezing water or something. I don’t know, but I do know that these type of actions do not EVER cross my mind, and I would be a sick monster if they did. 

It’s awful how humans treat one another isn’t it? I thought I had found this amazing career at an amazing place where everyone values each other’s opinions and things are never so dramatic that I feel sick. Yet it seems I was so completely wrong. I mean, I’m not naive enough to think that I can never be harmed and that nothing bad will ever happen in the realm that I am aware of, but I never expected something quite like this. I feel the chances of me being struck by lightning are much higher than the chances of this instance occurring in my world. (For the record, the odds of being struck by lightning in a person’s lifetime are believed to be somewhere around 1 in 3,000. That’s ridiculously small compared to many things!)

Here’s my question for anyone out there caring to read this; how does a person go about forgiving someone who is absolutely disgusting? Like, suppose someone stalks your child or tries to have inappropriate relations with them. This kind of awful thing is equal to the type of awful thing that I am speaking of. So how do you react? How do you get over it?

Better yet, I think my problem is that I am forced to sit on the sidelines while others with higher authority deal with the situation. But we go back to this situation again where not every person is good… everyone is acting like this situation should be swept under the rug, and I am so not comfortable with that at all.

These events have changed the life of one of my siblings, one of my students. I know people from the past who have dealt with similar situations and been scarred for life. So how does one (myself) go about trying to ensure that a 14 year old girl does not live the rest of her life in fear and worry when she is around other people whom she is not completely comfortable being around? 

I guess I’m not going to find any answers by sitting here and writing. And for once, this whole letting my emotions out on “paper” thing is not helping whatsoever. Guess I’ll give up and try something else.

In the meantime, you can guarantee that I’ll be sad, upset, disgusted, angry, pissed off, and every other type of emotion imaginable. Thanks for that idiot; if you’re reading this, you know that what you did was unforgivable so don’t expect forgiveness from me. 

~Me

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2 responses »

  1. I don’t have answers for you, but I think I understand what you are dealing with. Over a year ago in Springfield Missouri close to where I live a little girl named Hailey Owens was on her way home and was abducted, raped, and murdered. The man (if you could call him that) was teacher and coach in a middle school close to where Hailey attended. There have been numerous instances like this in our area recently. In fact the Speaker of the House in the Missouri House of Representatives resigned this week because he was sex ting an intern, a female at least 20 years younger than him.
    We live in an out of control, dangerous world and the worst thing we can do is sit by and do nothing, especially when it involves children, those who are vulnerable. I will be praying for you, if you have an opportunity to stand up for this person, you will have the courage to do so!
    “The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference” Elie Wiesel
    If I am totally off-base I apologize.

    • You are not totally off-base. Luckily, it was not a sexual assault, but it was still an assault of some kind. The girl has come to realize over the past week or so that she may have over exaggerated just a little bit due to some past experiences with awkwardly social men, however; I feel like if the kid feels uncomfortable in any way, there is an issue that needs to be addressed. Unfortunately, nothing has still been done, but I have done my best to let the person know that their actions are not right in my mind and never will be.

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