Category Archives: Wacky Wednesday

Wacky Wednesday- The Hardest Things (L1T6)

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Wacky

I had thought about skipping this post today, because I’m pretty darn exhausted. But then, out of curiosity, I read the topic for the day and felt that I just couldn’t skip this post or until until next week! So here goes…

What is the hardest thing I have ever been through? I cannot answer that question. Sorry. The number one thing? There is no number one thing. I have been through so many challenging and unfortunate things, even at this early point in my life, that I cannot choose just one. So how about a list? Here are the things that would vie for the first place position:

1. Growing up with anxiety, especially during the school year when drama and big tests, etc. were destined to occur. And that one time where I kept my parents away from one of their vacation trips because of this problem. 

2. Having to accept the fact that my family shrunk to half of its size because of drama. This item in itself is composed of dozens of other occurrences that could be considered some of my worst.

3. Having the house broken into while my parents try to prevent the situation- being too scared for my own sake and not saving my sister from this one was something that I struggled with for a long time. I sometimes still think about it almost 10 years later…

4. My first day as a freshmen. Sometimes people are just hateful and rude before they even get to know you. Unfortunately, I was on the wrong end of that stick. 

5. Losing my best friend, my confidante, and the one I could always go to during any of these other bad situations. To my pup, Max, I still miss you. And, though I in no way want to replace him, living the past year without this type of affection and cuddling has been extremely hard as well.

6. Losing my grandpa and then realizing that, even though he wasn’t a perfect person, I didn’t get to know him nearly as much as I would know him now if he were still alive. The closeness that I feel with my grandma is something I’ll never get to feel with him.

7. Being bullied in school. This one, for many, is self explanatory.

8. Disappointing the ones I love in many different ways. Most recently, having to deal with a snag in my relationship- while both of us have a lot going on that contributed to the distance that is now between us, I still feel disappointed in us and think he probably feels the same way. Regardless which of us is more or less to blame, etc. we could both fix this situation if we try hard enough, but the time between now and that point is going to be long and excruciating- if it ever even ends.

9. Watching someone that I love deal with depression and such a drastic feeling of inadequacy that they considered suicide and self-harm. I cannot even begin to explain how important it is for you to stick by that person’s side. Regardless of your feelings during this type of situation, that person whom you love is the one who really needs the attention and care. Whatever you do, do not leave their side physically or emotionally!

10. Breaking off my engagement for reasons that I could not only control to a certain extent. Basically any time we are not in control of our lives and something bad happens, we think it’s awful. This time though, I was giving up something that I never though I’d have in the first place. Just when I was used to having a new person around in my life, they disappeared. I’ll never rush into an engagement/marriage again. 

So there you go- my top ten. I gave some details with each of them because I don’t feel the need to go back and rehash each one now that I’ve stated them. In fact, this post itself has been extremely difficult for me to write. I’m now rehashing each of these instances in my head, and it’s not a good feeling to have all of that negativity at the forefront of my mind. I think now is a good time to move on to another one of my post topics, so check back soon for new content!

Wacky Wednesday- The Lie (L1T5)

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First of all, I have to tell everyone that it’s back to work for me tomorrow. I’ve been enjoying the ability to work from home for the last few weeks, and not every day at that. Looks like life will be changing up for a bit. Give me a few weeks to get adjusted- there might be some missing posts between now and then, but I’ll do my best to keep up with my blogging! 

The Wacky Wednesday topic for today is about lying. Namely, the list says to write about “That one time you told a huge lie and kinda got away with it {or perhaps you didn’t and that would make an even better blog post! Cringe}.” Since I just read this (less than a minute ago), I have no idea what to write about yet. Sure, just like everyone, there have been little white lies in my life. But something so extreme that I would immediately think of it after reading this topic? No… Which is a good thing right?

(5 minutes later)

Okay, I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone this story before, and I’m not really ashamed of it anymore. But I used to be. When I was younger, what I did seemed so wrong. But now I understand my desperation to do or say something to change the course of events and the way my life was unraveling. So here’s the story… Hopefully you won’t think any worse of me after you’ve read the story.

To set the background, let me just explain to you that I was in sixth grade when all of this started. By the end of my seventh grade year, I was at my wit’s end. In more ways than one, I had had enough of the situation. What, you may ask, is the situation? Bullying. Which, to some people, may not be the worst thing in the world, but to a girl who used to be popular and have everything going for her, being bullied can seem like the end of the world. 

In sixth grade, a group of students started to bully me. I’m not sure why- maybe my grades or because I had done or said something to upset someone. I guess I will never be sure, but it started nonetheless. The biggest problem with this bullying was that it originated from the same group of peers who had been my best friends since second grade. Almost five years of my life devoted to friendships with these people, and they just started bullying me.

At one point, the girl that I considered my best friend started treating me even worse than the rest of the kids. I guess that was around the fall of my seventh grade year. She wasn’t the type of person to be rude to my face, so she would say crap about me behind my back, to my other friends. It was from them that I heard these horror stories about her attitude toward me. 

About halfway through the year, things got even worse. Now she was willing to say things to my face, in front of other people, to cause a scene. Teachers didn’t care, so let’s face it, I was alone. I attempted to make new friends, but most kids don’t like you if you’re from the “popular group”. Apparently my friends had made it a habit to be rude to others, and I just didn’t know about any of those incidents. I never thought it would be so hard to make friends.

One day, as I was grabbing textbooks from my locker, one of the guys approached me and asked me what was going on between “her” and me. I didn’t know what to tell him- I really had no explanation for what was going on and was just trying to keep my distance. When I told him that I just wanted to stay out of it, he kept pressing me for answers to questions, for details to the story… probably for something to go back and tell all of his other friends. I got tired of trying to avoid his questions and was soon going to be late for class, so I gave him what I was looking for. 

What’s her problem? He kept asking. Well, to my point of view her problem was this: “She’s acting like a bitch and that’s all I know.” There. I said it. It felt good to say it, though I instantly regretted the use of the b-word. But it was said and there was no taking it back now. The guy stood there, completely shocked, and said something to the effect of “whoa, what?” 

By this time I had caught my mistake with the b-word and tried to re-word things so that my life didn’t become even more complicated. I replied, “In my opinion this is just stupid drama, and we are both acting that way by not just working together and getting over it.” And then I walked away.

There it was. The lie of the century. The biggest lie of my life. Because I didn’t think that I was doing anything wrong. I may have been young and naive, but I honestly did not see how me being bullied was my fault. Though I sometimes had depressing thoughts of that nature, it never occurred to me that my problem was an attitude issue. Not my attitude anyway…

I’m not sure if that boy ever told anyone else what I had said. As I turned down the next hallway, I glanced back to see him standing there at my locker staring at me as though I had just let an anvil drop on his toe. Oops! 

I’ve never told that story to anyone either, which I guess in and of itself is a type of lying. People asked me multiple times that year whether I had done anything to encourage the bullying, and I always replied no. Honestly, I hadn’t. Not at the beginning, not up until this day, and not ever after this conversation occurred. I stayed away from the bullies and did my best to ignore them when we shared a classroom. But now, as an adult, I look back on that time and see a lie. Lots of confusion, granted, but one pretty big lie just because I have held this secret in for so long, and it bugged me for so many reasons.

So now that I have said this, I’m going to go and find something distracting to do. Work starts tomorrow, and I need to stay focused on the future, not the past. Hopefully I will be forgiven for what I have done (yes, I have apologized, though never mentioning the exact reason why), and I can continue to just move on with my life. 

 

Wacky Wednesday: The Day I Left Home (L1T4)

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Wacky

Well, I’ve never moved. I know, it’s a big weird thing. Everyone these days moves. Most at least go to college or move to a different house with their family. But not me. As I’ve said before, my family is pretty old-fashioned. We grew up in a home built by family members, have updated and renovated to fit our needs, and love this little house we own. To tell you the truth, as much as my family drives me crazy, this house is my comfort zone. I’m not looking forward to moving out at all! I know it needs to happen, but it hasn’t yet.

So this post is pretty pointless- I cannot write about the first time I left home, but that’s what the prompt is asking me to do. Instead, I think I’ll tell you about the first time that I truly left home alone. No, I’m not talking about school, a job, or a trip to Walmart or the grocery store. Instead, I mean the first time I went away from home on my own for an extended period of time. 

It happened last week actually. I mean, I’ve gone on trips before to various locations. I’ve driven over an hour away to get to work, to pick people up from the City, etc. But last week I made a trip that took me over 12 hours away from home. I left of my own accord, on a spur-of-the-moment decision. And then I spent the next 12 hours in the car, winding my way through traffic jams, road construction, and towns I’ve never seen or heard of before. 

I had a distinct destination in mind, and when I got there, I would no longer be alone. That was the biggest reason I convinced myself that the trip would be amazing. It would be great. I was excited (and thus nervous) about reaching the town I was headed for, but the trip was rather enjoyable other than that.

Problem was I drove the whole way, almost without stopping. It was late by the time I got to my location, and I didn’t sleep on top of that. The whole situation was fairly messed up because of my anxiety. So, less than 48 hours after I had arrived, I turned around and drove the whole way back home without stopping.

I keep going back and forth- regretting even trying, being proud of myself, and really realizing how much I enjoyed being with the person that I had met up with. Back and forth, back and forth. My feelings on this trip may never settle down or be completely set in stone. But I know that I did do something great that, due to my disorder, I never thought I would do voluntarily. I did get hugs and kisses from the one I love. And while not all things that ensued because of my exhaustion, stress, and anxiety were positive, I find that I need to focus on the positive things in order to keep my sanity and not drive everyone around me crazy.

So maybe I haven’t moved yet. I’m sure I’m not the only one in the world who can say so. And maybe, since I was able to (sort of) make this trip all on my own, I will be able to move out on my own sooner than I think. But, for the time being, I’m going to try to enjoy my life the way it is, savor every moment of every experience, and improve myself surely and slowly so as not to slip up after trying to make the big move. 

The End.

Wacky Wednesday: The Recipe for Disasters (L1T3)

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Wacky

 

The topic for the day from the topic list is: Your favourite recipe, even if you’re the worst cook in the world. Sometimes there’s an art to making the best vegemite toast you could ever eat.

Well, the problem with this topic is that I am an awful cook. Not in the way that you may think though. If you sit a recipe in front of my face, I can make a real decent meal. But I’m lazy in the kitchen. It is a very rare occurrence for me to want to make anything for supper. 

Luckily, I still have favorite recipes though, so I am able to write this post pretty well. A few years ago, I got a Pinterest account because one of my friends was obsessing over making all of this stuff off of Pinterest. Out of curiosity, I signed up. 

One day I came across this recipe for something called Chicken Ranch Lasagna. Cheesy chicken ranch lasagna--- this sounds good and I might actually be able to eat it!

Can I just say it looks amazing?!?! From reading the ingredients, it also looked like something my family might be able to eat. (We have all kinds of stomach problems around here, so that our recipes end up being chicken, chicken, and then more, plain, baked chicken.)

The recipe, thanks to Rachelle Shockey,  isn’t the cheapest one in the world, but it is extremely tasty and pretty easy to make! I have no idea if it is her original recipe or not, but it’s extremely yummy and I think that everyone should try it! Even my boyfriend, who likes spicy food and anything not plain loved this one. 

I admit that most times I end up passing this recipe off onto someone else, mainly just because another member of the family is normally the cook. Regardless of who makes the lasagna though, it is absolutely my favorite. 

Try it out, let me know what you think!

Wacky Wednesday— Movie Suggestion (L1T2)

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Wacky

It’s time for another post from the question list that I introduced last week. Today’s question is a tough one for me. I was asked to name the worst movie ever.

2. The worst movie you ever did see, and why.

I’m not a movie person. I mean, watching movies is a relaxing and fun activity, especially when I’m exhausted or want to hang out with a friend. Or on a really rainy day. Sometimes even when there is nothing on TV to watch. 

But I’m not one of those people who strive to watch every new movie that comes out of theaters. I’m not the kind of person to go to a movie premiere or put dozens of DVDs on my Christmas list. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy movies; I just don’t obsess over them or choose viewing a movie as one of the best hobbies.

With that said, I have absolutely no idea what the worst movie is that I’ve ever seen. Because I am not as interested in movies as other people, I also have a hard time remembering the titles of movies. I can remember some pretty horrid ones (like the one that gave me my first glimpse of the naked male body— I was young and the movie said nothing about nudity). There were also those that just drove me crazy (ahem, every movie that has a cliffhanger ending!) Regardless though, I still cannot come up with a worst movie specifically. Not one, not even the suggestion of some titles.

So I asked my sister, who is, for all intents and purposes, my movie guru. She obsesses over movies when she really wants to see them. And this is not a bad thing, even though she can drive you crazy if you let her. Most times though, she impresses me with her vast knowledge of new movies, movies I’ve never heard, and those that I’ve long forgotten about by now. She used to watch movies and be able to recite almost every line that the characters said, on cue. 

She says the worst movie she ever saw was the “real life” version of the Cat in the Hat that came out in the early 2000s. Now that she mentioned it, I may have to agree. In fact, I do happen to recall that we never even finished that movie! It was so awful that even my sis did not finish watching the entire thing. I cannot seem to remember why it was so horribly bad, but it was. Such a sad, sad movie.

Anyway, I love writing, but that’s all I really have to say on this topic. Hopefully next week’s question/topic will be more interesting (to me) than this.

Wacky Wednesday- High School Relived (L1T1)

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Thank you to my genius boyfriend for deciding that if I’m going to write on all of the topics in the list, I should just start with the first one. (One of them that I have been dreading honestly.) Thanks for the advice; I should have known better than to ask you!

1. That thing that happened in high school that pretty much changed your life forever

So here’s the thing… this story starts way back before high school even began. Probably sixth or seventh grade actually. When I started to be bullied, sometimes by people that I had considered my best friends. This fact isn’t super important until you take into account that it made me extremely nervous about my first day of high school. A new start some people say? Or just a continuation of my middle school years (as I had assumed it would be)?

I arrived at school that morning feeling pretty nervous but overall good about myself. I was interested to see how things would work out and what my classes would be like. I’m a nerd, geek, dork, whatever- but back then I hated school. All I wanted that day was to survive.

The first few periods were stressful but decent. (How exactly do you traverse three sets of stairs and travel to the other end of the school in five minutes? Why wouldn’t my locker’s lock open so I could just get that textbook!?) Then I got to English. Oh English, how I love you. But back then, something had changed my mind.

The teacher was an older lady and instead of being in a class of students of high achievement as I was used to (sorry, I’m not trying to brag), I was with a mixed group of freshman. Yay me! No more bullying, I thought. She started speaking about the course syllabus, the supplies we would need to bring to class each day, and the normal first-day topics. We all sat silently (and bored) as she rambled about what was supposed to be important material. I never used that information again…

At the end of class, we were asked to raise our hand if there were questions. Many students asked silly things- can we write in pen? How much homework will we have? Do we need to carry this book with us all the time? What did you say earlier about needing a notebook and a binder?

I sat in the back of the classroom bored. Then I realized that there was a question I had been meaning to ask for weeks. You see, it is school’s policy that each summer the students read three “exciting summer reads”. When they return to school, they test on each of the three books that they have read: one essay, one exam, and one presentation or some nonsense like that.

Anyway, my friends, cousins, etc. had all been discussing these summer reading books with me over the summer since it was my first time completing the assignment. I didn’t know how much information I needed to remember, how much detail I would need to recall later on. So I asked. Some people said I had to write all of my own notes, some said I could use a review page (pulled from somewhere like SparkNotes) to job my memory. There were no straight answers- everyone had something different to say. So… that day, sitting in that hot, non-air-conditioned classroom with a bunch of other froshes, I asked the question that I had been wondering about for weeks.

“What is the deal with the summer reading exam? Can we use a review sheet or must we use our own notes in order to complete the test?” Simple. Innocent.

Yet that one moment where I had decided to speak out amongst my peers changed my life forever. It, along with the last class of the day (Gym, of all things) is what finally pushed me over the edge.

You see, the teacher replied in a nasty tone. What she had to say wasn’t nice. In my opinion, asking the question was better than assuming the answer. But not to her. To this grey-haired menace, I was asking whether she would let me get away with cheating or not. Thus ensued a huge lecture…

“If you, or anyone else in here for that matter, think that you are going to cheat on this exam, think again! It will not be tolerated in this classroom and I will NEVER let you get away with it. Whatever you might be thinking about doing, think again…” Yadda, yadda, yadda.

I was lucky that I wasn’t in tears. I survived that class, and the class after that (where I got yelled at for having a broken finger and “trying to get out of” playing volleyball). By the time I got home, my face was red, my eyes were swollen, and I had had enough.

My parents tried to fix the situation- they had for years. Talk to the teachers about the students who were bullying me. Explain my anxiety and seek simple accommodations. Then, the evening of my first day as a “big freshman”, they tried to get my class schedule transferred so that I didn’t have to deal with the bully of a teacher that I had.

The school wouldn’t work with me, not at all. I couldn’t test out of a grade (even just for English). I couldn’t have another teacher (she was the only one who taught the college level courses that my “brain” needed. I was stuck. The guidance counselor would not even meet with my parents to discuss the situation in person. However, they did inform us that my best bet was to just “go to another school.” They even went so far as to recommend one. A cyber school- the new, cool thing to do. It was a school where the district sent all of their delinquents, pregnant teens, etc. But that’s where I ended up. That’s where I stayed. For all three years of my high school experience (haha to you district!). I graduated top ten of my class even though I was only a Junior, and I haven’t regretted it since.

The worst first day of high school that I could have imagined became one of the best things that ever happened to me. The three years that followed were the best years of my life. They convinced me that school is something I am allowed to love. Being smart is a bonus, an asset, not something to hide and deny. I met my inspiration there- the math teacher who convinced me I was good enough to take AP tests my freshman year with the rest of the seniors.

I have bad thoughts about those days still. But I haven’t truly, wholly regretted the decision to leave public school since.

For those of you who think that decisions and actions described above were overreactions, please do not forget that you should not judge a book by its cover. My blog is new, you are all people whom I’ve never met in my life. The situations described may not be life-changing to you, but they were a huge deal to me. Please keep that in mind when commenting. However, if you have some constructive criticism or something nice to say, please let me know in the comments below!

 

Wacky Wednesday— Introduction and First List

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The final post category will be announced next Tuesday (since I skipped yesterday’s post). In the meantime, welcome to the first Wacky Wednesday post! During this daily blog post, I will be taking some advice from other bloggers and discussing random topics. Here’s how it will work…

I will research topics, ideas, or themes for bloggers to use. There are hundreds of sites out there that have ideas for new bloggers. When I find a list that I like, I will post it to my own blog. Each Wednesday thereafter (until the list is complete) I will choose one of the topics on the list to write about. This should be interesting… especially since I am giving myself a very big rule. Once I choose a list, I must write about EVERY topic on that list before moving on to a new list. (Ah!) Anyway, enough of this babble. Here goes…

First List:

1. That thing that happened in high school that pretty much changed your life forever
2. The worst movie you ever did see, and why
3. Your favourite recipe, even if you’re the worst cook in the world. Sometimes there’s an art to making the best vegemite toast you could ever eat
4. The day you left home
5. That one time you told a huge lie and kinda got away with it {or perhaps you didn’t and that would make an even better blog post! Cringe}
6. The hardest thing you’ve ever been through
7. 9 things you just can’t handle {gross things like ugly toes etc etc}
8. Your day in photos {take a photo every hour from wake to sleep}
9. Your most excruciatingly embarrassing moment. We’ve all got one.
10. A letter to your 16 year old self. What advice would you give?
11. Your celebrity dinner party. Who would you invite?
12. A how-to post on something you know nothing about
13. Your first love/kiss, and don’t skip the awkward details
14. The day you started blogging. What were you thinking?
15. The most difficult decision you’ve ever made. Write from the heart.
16. 7 things you learned from being a kid
17. A letter to your mum/grandma/child
18. An anti-bucket list: the things you hope to never do before you die
19. The last thing that made you cry
20. Your earliest childhood memory
21. That thing that really gets your goat {Is it the way people drive? That sniffing noise your partner makes?}
22. The worst Christmas/Birthday you ever had {make it funny!}
23. What your Facebook status might be in 2018
24. What you’re addicted to, and why
25. Write your obituary
26. Write a how-to post on something you actually know a lot about, as obscure as it might be
27. Write a FAQ {frequently asked questions} post. This could be questions you get asked about your blog, or questions you get asked by your kids over and over again. Think outside the box.
28. That time that you met a complete stranger
29. Fashion: Your top 5 favourite bags/dresses/looks/hair-dos/shoes right now
30. What you’ve learned about life so far
31. Brain dump. What’s on your mind right now
32. Something you lost
33. Bad habits. Share yours and why you won’t give it up. Ever.
34. Who people think you are, compared to who you really are
35. If you only had one day to live, how you’d spend it
36. A thank you note to a ‘thing’, like coffee, or trashy TV
37. A guide to the town you live in
38. What you want to be when you grow up {yes, there’s still time}
39. Something you found
40. The menu for your last meal ever
41. A response to a popular blog post written by someone else – an opinion piece where you put your cranky pants on
42. Write a review: on anything… a new food, a book you just read, an App
43. Find your most popular blog post and then write a second series of it, or an update on it
44. Do a DIY. A step-by-step guide on how to make something
45. Set a goal, and a plan on how to get there
46. Create a post asking for advice on something that’s troubling you. People love to offer wisdom
47. Share the favourite room in your home, and why you love it
48. Top 5: Share a post with the top 5 blogs you just can’t get enough of
49. Share a secret you’ve never told anyone. Until now
50. Write a list post on things for people to blog about. Pretty much like this one just here.

Thank you to Fat Mum Slim for the list (visit their blog post here: http://fatmumslim.com.au/sweet-ideas-50-things-to-blog-about/)