I know that I have posted a lot lately, but I just finished reading Chapter 1 of Souls Revealed, and it ends with a few questions that I figure I ought to answer (since I’m trying this whole answer questions on my blog thing).
- What are the emotional, material, and spiritual needs in your life?
Emotional- I need to feel loved and cared for. This often requires that I am not alone for long periods of time and that I have people in my life who I can truly trust to support me in all things. I often feel the need to make others proud of me in order to feel happiness and success.
Material- My biggest material needs are food, water, clothing, shelter, and a car. I require the car to go to work each day, food (& water & clothing & shelter) for the obvious reasons. It also helps, since I am a teacher and love learning, to have paper, writing utensils, textbooks, and books in general. Would I say these are needs? No. But I am used to having them in my life, and sometimes I think I take them for granted.
Spiritual- I need my family. While this doesn’t sound spiritual, it is. My mom is extremely spiritual, and she helps to remind me of the things that are important in my spiritual life. My dad is a great inspiration because he reminds me to go to Church on a more regular basis. Both of my parents set good examples for me of how Christians are supposed to act. My sister is the greatest example of someone who always does things for others. She inspires me to be a better person in general. I also feel that, while it is not a need per say, this blog is extremely important to my spiritual life. Being able to read other blogs about religions and positive thinking/actions is an amazing thing in my life. It also helps me to sort out my emotional and spiritual feelings when I wrote posts such as this one.
- Where do you go to meet those needs?
Church, home, work, and my back yard. Church, for obvious reasons spiritually and emotionally. Home, because I get most of my material needs from there. My family is also there to support me, and I can find some quiet time to collect myself spiritually and emotionally before venturing out into the world again. Work, because my students set great examples that make me want to be a better person. Also because my job allows me to strive to be a better example for the kids, and of course, because I get paid. My back yard, because it abuts a field; a big empty field that is so peaceful, quiet, and relaxing that I have the perfect opportunity to sit and think while looking out on the countryside. Nature in general is a great place to go I think- at least spiritually and emotionally speaking.
- Who provides support to you? Who can you rely on in a moment of crisis?
My family. Even my dog can give comfort when I am feeling like being alone but cannot stand to talk to anyone. Actually, I am finding it harder to rely on my family at all times and for all crises. I think this is mostly because I am growing up, but I also attribute this change to the fact that I got used to speaking to someone else about my problems when I was with my ex-fiance. At that point, I relied on him to support me at all times. Now that I’ve lost that part of my life, I also feel lost when it comes to emotional things. Maybe that’s because it’s hard for me to get over the end of an engagement (something I never thought that I would experience), but also because I lost my main source of support at the same time.
- Who do you look to in order to share the truth about your life?
A diary. I let friends and family in to some parts of my life, but I don’t think anyone knows everything about me anymore.
- Describe your emotional stability. Are you at your tipping point? Why?
I’m definitely not completely stable right now. It gets even worse when you consider that having anxiety to begin with makes me emotionally unstable on a fairly normal basis. I don’t think I’m at my tipping point right now; I think I may have already been there and come back from it. At the same time, since I’ve lost what I thought of as my future, I’m quite a bit of a mess right now.
- What does it take for you to trust?
It always takes a lot. The first thing is that the person I am trusting me shows that they trust me first. Even then I over-think everything and struggle to trust. Sometimes I even distrust my family, but that’s because of past events as well. I used to trust everyone and anyone who showed me respect; now I have changed to stop myself from being hurt so that it does not happen again.
- When have you chosen a life of less?
Now. When I was a teenager. Especially when deciding whether to return to school to get my Masters or not. I believe now that I may have made the wrong decision then. My responsibilities now take away much of my relaxation time. I find I’m not focused nearly as much as I should be on my emotional and spiritual state of being.
- What are you the most fearful of in your life?
Being hurt again. That should be clear based on what I said above…
- Are you bitter? What are the circumstances?
I don’t think so. I mean, every now and then I get angry at a circumstance or a person involved. But I don’t walk around seeking revenge, blaming others, or ruining my days by thinking about the past. At the same time, I’m never satisfied with giving up on any situation, and I have a hard time letting go of people I did love who stopped loving me or hurt me. In some ways, I feel being bitter would be better than whatever it is that I do when I get hurt.
- How comfortable are you with yourself?
I know who I am. I am used to the person that I am. Do I wish I were someone different? Yes, sometimes. But that feeling often lasts for only a second or two before I remember why I am the person that I am and that, if I were any different, I could be worse off than I am now. It may not always be sunny and green grasses on my side of the world, but it could be worse from another perspective and I do not even realize it.
- How do you express yourself and your needs? How can you improve?
Which needs? Emotionally, I often cry when I get frustrated or lost with expressing myself. People who know me well know I need help when I am crying. And I don’t do it only when I am sad. I don’t really express my material needs. I am fairly independent and take care of myself. Plus I don’t need a lot of things that other humans could live without. It’s fairly obvious, especially in today’s world, that a shelter, food, and water are needs for any humans.
I am sure that I can improve when trying to express myself because I am so easily emotional about anything. I cry when I’m happy, angry, or sad at times. Instead of allowing this expression to speak for me totally, I need to at least combine it with words (or not cry at all) in order to ensure that everyone truly understands what I am discussing and talking about.
- What values are important to you? How do you incorporate them into your life?
Respect. Honor. Trust. Compassion. LOVE. Kindness. Privacy. Family. Intelligence.
*Respect is incorporated into my life because I show respect for everyone I am around (even strangers) and expect respect from those who I choose to spend my time around.
*Honor- Same goes!
*Trust- See the discussions above. It’s very important for me to trust people, but I don’t do it easily.
*Compassion- I show compassion a lot of times regardless of whether others show it or not.
*Kindness- Same goes!
*Privacy- I try to take time for myself on a regular basis in order to regroup and breathe. In addition, I find that privacy is extremely important so that less drama occurs in my life.
*Family- See all of the above. We spend a lot of time together!
*Intelligence- I’m a teacher. Need I say more?
*LOVE- Yes, it’s capitalized for a reason. This is the reason that I live my life the way I do. This is where my happiness comes from. This is why I bother to trust anyone to begin with. Love is the most important thing in my life and that will never change!
Well, I had intended to write more than this, but those questions took me much longer than I was expecting. Until tomorrow I guess!